I was messy before I married my husband 3 years ago. His house was messy too but he lived with his mother, and never learned how to do housework. He blames my stuff for all the problems. We just moved 3 months ago, and haven't put anything away yet. Vital things have been lost in the mess. His solution seems to be to get rid of all my stuff. This bothers me, as it feels like he's rejecting me. How does he have the right to say I can never read that book, or weave that yarn, or whatever, just because I don't have time to do it right now. (working full-time and going to school)? He knew had this stuff when he married me, and if it bothered him, he should not have. Meanwhile, he does nothing in the house. I work full-time as I said, and he does too but I go to school as well. He works in retail so he's often here in the house alone, but he won't do anything. He says he doesn't work well alone, but if I do it with him, I'm not doing my homework. Also, he can't multi-task (I thought all ADDers did that). When I finally get home at 9 o'clock at night, I'd like to watch TV, but if I put the TV on, he he has to just stare at it. I watch TV and pick up the living room, or wash dishes (there's a tv in our kitchen), or sort laundry and put it in the washer during the commerical. But he always demands that I just sit there with him and cuddle. He won't do it alone, and he won't do it with me if the tv is on. Do I have to give up watching Lost or CSI just do get him to act like he lives here, instead of being a guest? When I complain that I am doing more than my share, he says "No one is making you do it," but if I don't do it, we would have no clean dishes, and we can't afford to eat out all the time.
Submitted by Sueann on 03/08/2008.