There is a TV show called "Princess" on the Lifetime channel. It is SO interesting for me to see these "usually young" women who have been living carefree off the generosity and love of family and friends. They ALWAYS have an impish grin and seem to believe they are particularly cute and smart. I see my old husband in them and want to kick myself for letting him drift along while I strived and worked so hard. With him believing that he is smart to not have had to work too hard for his own home and family. He likes to say he does the work but doesn't actually do it. If he does do some small task, he talks it up for a long time to "get credit" even though he does not take the real responsibility of a husband and father. So here is a TV show showing it up in my face what it looks like from the outside.
Watching the show is a great reality tool. I suggest you hunt it out. Sometimes we can't see ourselves as others see us. Why didn't I fight? Why did I give too much? That is what I am looking at these days and learning that I wasn't so much the long suffering spouse, strong and sturdy, but I was the person who did not believe in myself enough to stand strong and find happiness and pride.