My husband in denial

Hi this is my first post. So my husband who ran out on me and my children impulsively is in denial even after his ADHD diagnosis. He believes he didn't attribute to the marriage breakdown and it was all one Is this denial normal after diagnosis and will he come to realise? Our relationship has been lopsided and I have taken over the household and childcare responsibilities without nagging, but somehow no matter how much I accommodate him it all goes out of the window if I even make one criticism towards him he goes into this black pit of depression walking around looking abused and looking to escape. Each time he has exited it has been without notice but he goes around saying we had both come to this decision. When he leaves he makes out he has suffered emotionally abuse by me when I've been walking around on eggshell just in case I set him off, he's such a peaceful persona that his family and everyone else believe it's completely me, if anything they validate his stories about me. He used to gaslight me into believing it was me and he was the perfect husband not complaining, after some therapy for myself I've come to realise he controls me with passive aggressive behaviour, so he won't shout and act mean but if I don't comply with his unreasonable needs he will make me feel like I'm being unreasonable and hold himself back from me by being really sad so then I kept giving in. He has moved out months ago and has forgotten all the abusive he gave instead he believes he tried so hard and it was me who abused him. Also he keeps referring to conversations we never had.