I've been with my partner over a decade, married 5 years and we have two 4-year-old's.
Yesterday I tried to talk to him about how he needs to pull his finances together not just for current goals to be able to own property but for long-term quality of life. He did not want to talk about it and said once again 'it was the way I brought it up' he threw a plate across the room, proceeded to bang things and even broke a toy of one of the kids. Its at moments like this that I wonder how much of this am I supposed to take? I paid of nearly 8000 dollars in his debt to help him clear his credit, he's barely made any money for years, he claims its cause 'he had to stay home and take care of kids' mind you this was never the family plan. I was just forced to go to work because he wouldn't. The kids have been at school for 8 months and he still does not have a full-time job. Its been so long since he's worked full-time it just does not seem possible. He lies about so many things: he will say he's done his taxes and hasn't, he once lied that he paid for a used car (with some money from my dad) and that he got in an accident and it was stolen but it never existed, he has said in the past he can pay rent and he stole my checks and forged my signature instead, he has untreated ADHD for years and I've tried to get him help. But its impossible to find proper treatment for adults unless I can pay thousands to get him a diagnosis and the diagnosis doesn't even come with treatment.
I feel like I have no friends. I have insomnia constantly and lose my patience and yell in front of the kids. He blames me for everything. Everything is cause I am not kind, the way I bring things up.... meanwhile he drives the car he did not help pay for, I have all the financial security, a well-paying stressful job and he can just continue this way. I am so lonely and fed up and don't know how long I hang on for. I love my kids so much and he is good to them. But he never does anything thoughtful for me and I'd be so much further in my life without him like a noose around my neck. I wonder if I even love him anymore? Its hard to feel attracted to him even because I don't trust him and honestly he disgusts me.
My family will not co-sign on a loan for a house not because they don't trust me but because they think Jason my financially ruin me and then they would be on the hook. My sister and I are not talking right because of all the stress and tension of me asking my dad if he'd co-sign. And I feel like maybe it would just be easier to start again.