I am new to this forum and glad to have found a place where I am among those just like me. I am an ADHD newly diagnosed adult. I am 25 years old and have always been considered "scatterbrained" but I was very smart and had no trouble what so ever in school, college, getting my B.A., Masters degree in OT. I am a very motivated person and I am lucky that my book smart genes compensated for my ADHD. I am married now for 4.5 years and this is why I self-diagnosed myself. I was expecting my second child and was working at my first job, post OT degree. The job was very stressful and I had a lot of anxiety. Turns out I was diagnosed with GAD, peripartum onset. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression as well. These are issues that I struggle with regularly, but when I found myself a very good psychiatrist finally six months ago, I told him my concerns and he confirmed my suspicions that I have ADHD. My father was never diagnosed but definitely has it; my fifteen year old sister is on stratera now- not sure if she ever got an official diagnosis either, my whole family is very smart so many people have told us that we can't have it if we do well in school. This is not true. My oldest sister definitely has ADHD as well. We all have ADHD, inattentive type. So all of my inattention traits of ADHD have really started getting in the way of having a happy marriage. I have been in marriage counseling for two years with no luck. We actually just switched therapists and she suggested that my husband learn more about ADHD so he can understand me. I decided that maybe I should learn about ADHD more as well and see what I can do for myself. I bought four books and one of them was- The ADHD Effect on Marriage by Melissa. I am still in middle of reading it, as I am sure you can all relate, it is hard to get myself to sit down and read it- but it brought me to this website.
I did have an ephiphany though two days ago while reading the book. The first part of the book discusses different pattterns in ADHD marriages. I read the whole chapter and noticed how many of the things were true for us. As I read though, I began to notice that I took both roles as both the ADHD spouse and the non-ADHD spouse. My husband had ADHD, hyperactive type as a child, and he has dyslexia as well. He in his mind overcame is ADHD and he thinks it is a non-issue. However, as I read the book I had an AHA moment- my husband still had ADHD as a very current and real problem. The entire management of the house, taking care of my two kids, it all falls on me. And he complains to the marriage counselor how he does everything at home, when in fact, I am the one who gets it all done. Now being that I have ADHD, it is really difficult for me, and he gets very upset and he is also a perfectionist, so nothing I ever do is good enough, but to make matters worse, he also had ADHD and does not pitch in at all with chores, does hyperfocus- with reading, "parents" me all the time and micromanages my life, shifts all blame to me, and nags me all the time. Now I am not completely innocent here, and I definitely have resentment towards him for not helping out more at home, but I also have very poor organizational and time management skills which makes taking care of the house very hard for me. So why am I writing this all in here? I want to share my story and keep everyone updated on my progress. I feel like just finding this website and learning more about ADHD and how I can best manage everything is progress already. I am going to see the marriage counselor this Thursday to tell him about my husband and his ADHD and its impact on our marriage and I will see what happens.
I was just wondering if I was the only one who had this problem- I kinda got the worst of both worlds. Not only do I have ADHD, but I am married to ADHD who is in denial, has distorted view of reality, and treats me like I do everything wrong...
Anyhow, I am glad to be on the road to recovery...
Also how long does medication take to work???
Looking forward to hearing from everyone!