My story. White HOT anger

Well I read many stories on this website only to be reminded of my own. I am 24, married for a little over two years to my husband. We have a beautiful 10 month old daughter together. After months of for myself, and depression diagnosis, from post partum to possible mild bipolar disorder. It just dawned on me today, that the only person in which i have deep white hot anger for is my husband!!!

Which makes me very sad. We are currently in marriage counseling, but the same thing keeps happening over and over. A little back ground info on my husband, he's 26 in the military has been for almost 8 yrs. So he doesn't seem to have issues holding down a job, or maybe its just the discipline of the military which is beneficial. I know he was diagnosed as ADHD as a small child and his mother has told me he at one point was medicated but stopped taking the medication due to he didn't like how it made him feel. His mother also expressed he had issues telling the truth as a child,stealing etc; she tried her hardest to correct him. FYI my husband is adopted so as far as family history I have no clue :(

Well fast forward to 2013, after the birth of my daughter the s*** has really started to hit the fan. This past summer i found out while i was on vacation visiting my familly, he took out a line of credit in my name with out my consent. Bought a whole bunch of crap he didn't need, a sports jersey he wanted, new iphone. I was furious. We currently live in new england and after that i packed up all of my belongings and daughter and went home to stay with my parents for a month. After a month, i decided to come back to try and work on things for the sake of our daughter.

Well this month, i find out he has been filing false fraud accusations to the bank. We have a joint account/his checking and had been doing so recently with my log in info online. Basically leaving me with looking bad and no way to prove i didn't do it, so i look like a wonderful person to the bank im sure. However he had done stunts like this prior to marrying me, that i had no idea about, so i think the bank is well aware.

I just feel completely numb. I've tried talking with him but it all just seems hopeless. I am tired of all the lies, and agreeing to do something just to appease me, only to later come up with some BS as to why he can't keep his word. Frankly I'm sick of it!!! Since he is in the military, he is afraid to let them know of his childhood ADHD, as it is disqualifying. Which I understand, but without honesty & his impulses out of control, I will end up filing for divorce if he doesn't seek serious help.

The sad part is i got confirmation from the bank that he in fact did submit false fraud reports under my access number, i ask him about it and he says he honestly doesn't remember? He admits to doing the act but has no recall of doing so with my log in.

Which is completely unacceptable to me. He is going to ruin me financially. I understand his career is important, but at the same time the military will find out about all of this when he is up for security clearances in a few yrs. I just don't get it, would'nt you want to try and save your family? He will end up divorced, and jobless. 

I now have anger issues, not entirely thanks to my husband but mostly. He has a lot of good qualities, good father, very likeable guy. I just can't get past how it is OK in his mind to act like this. He always says this is the last time, or it won't happen again and it's as if he has no control.