MY TURN TO LIVE NOW!!!!

That's it!!!! over finish!!!!! he took me for granted,ADHD OR NONE,he ruined me,I have been doing everything possible to save my marriage,I put up with his nonsense and he just don't get it!!! he pushed me away this time for good!!! the porn the watching of the women the verbal abuse the time he ruined my birthday,EVERYTHING,I have read books,blogged here,search and search for answers when all he had to do was work on him!!!!!! he never did and still don't want to change!! I have so many things to look forward to in my life and he is no help for me, he is bringing me down with his nasty behaviors and I am sick of it!!! I lived according to his lifestyle,I put UP with the torture,the mental and emotional abuse,all of it to try with him b/c I loved him dearly, he was supposed to be there for me also but he can't.What am I supposed to do!!!

Last night he crushed me for the 1,000 time,he went out looking all dazzling and left me home wondering were he was at for the whole night!!! I can't take this type of abuse,it is sending me crazy,I have blogged here about my whole marriage with him and the things he did to me!!! what a horrible experience,I have been hurt soo bad by him!! he has no idea what he did to me this time.I spend my days and nights and all my spare time trying to come up with ways to make this work,but it was only me that was making the effort not him!!

Today he is calling my phone nonstop to make me get upset for his sick reasons again!! I switched off my phone and I am changing my number,I am not doing this again,I would find other things to do with my time,I will find back my friends and hang out and go back to school and continue to work and take care of my kids.I am DONE living for him it's my time to LIVE now!!!

lovehurts.

You did it.

Do not give in at this point.  Stay your course.  If he is like my DH, he will probably saunter in and act like nothing happened.  Decide early what you will do when he comes on the scene and uses his charm and manipulations to get you back to the old status quo.  The only thing you have to gain by taking him back is frustration.  Good for you!  You did it!

RE: you did it!!

I did it!!!! but he is trying to manipulate me like you stated,but I have my plans for him.will keep an up date.

thank you,

lovehurts.

Good for You!

I hadn't been on this forum in a while, but I'm glad to see you're sticking to your guns!

My DH is very manipulative as well.  It doesn't work on me anymore...so he finds others to do what he wants.  He can go be someone else's problem... I'm done with it.

This is a very sad thing for me, but I'm in survival mode.

ma

While I'm never happy to see

While I'm never happy to see a marriage end, I am always happy to see people making steps towards a brighter future. I am confident you will accomplish whatever you set your mind to. i hope my next statement comes across how I intend it, which is as an effort to give good advice. I work for a divorce attorney and have seen many people come into our office with just atrocious stories of mistreatment by their spouse, horrible experiences and divorce is still very emotional for them. They say divorce is similar to death in the way that you grieve. Dr. Phil (insert laughter here) has an article on helpful tips to guide you through the emotional process. If you've decided to cut ties to him (don't blame you) then I'd like you to make sure you're taking care of YOU. Good luck my dear. Go live your life and find all the happiness you can. You've earned it!

thank you amonty1026,

thank you very much for you inspirational words,but he is not willing to accept "our" separation! he is giving me a hard time,he won't stop calling my phone,leaving threatening voice messages,he has my wrapped up in a vicious circle according to his ex wife.I have been speaking to her and everything he is doing to me he has done to her and she is telling me this would never end,unless the police is involve,I am very peaceful and I don't want police In my life anymore.I have seen my Mother called police for my abusive Father and I can't take that trauma anymore! I am scared and need help!!! anyone please advice me what to do!! he is expecting me to spend the weekend coming here and I don't want to go!! i have resentment hate and scorn now b/c of (ALL) the wrong things he did to me I can't get them over.He is not willing to make any change like so many other's I have seen here and clearly he more than ADHD,and that is my fear!

lovehurts.

Fearful for safety?

If you have reason to fear your safety over the weekend, then it is best to not allow him to see you, no matter what he wants.  Remember, it's not an issue of what he wants, but rather what you want.  A cooling off period can be a very good idea, no matter what direction your future takes.  If his ex-wife says that she had to get a restraining order (this is how I interpret what you wrote above) then pay attention to this and get prepared by finding out how to do that if you need to.

Hi Melissa,interpretation right!!

She did indeed had to take out a restraining order on him b/c of all the threatening phone calls he left after she left him,I am not sure what made that trigger but that is how she explained it to me.I am more fearful of the fights more than anything before,he has a tendency to pick on me and bully me a lot and I don't know where that type of (HIGH) anger is coming from.The thing is I do love him and did try,but there is only so much I can do.He is saying he would seek help today and 2 months would pass and still,anger tantrums,mood swings,"the blame game" everything you could think of and more than "just" ADHD,a train of disorder's.ALL these things have caused "BIG" resentment on my part and I don't think it can be mended back."My time to live now" he held me against my own will to live the "free bird" I am accustom too.He would just stop just like that and argue argue argue,it's like he is loving it and hating it all at once.I have never seen such anger in no one before the extent of it goes way beyond imaginations.

Thank you for your advice,I will bear in mind what you suggested,but,I hope it never have to reach that far.

lovehurts.

stay strong

Stay strong. Don't live in fear. Find out what you need to do to protect yourself before anything may happen. Ask yourself how you will feel 5 days, or weeks, or months after this, and if the answer is "relieved," then that's all the answer you need. Best of luck to you. 

There is a HUGE difference

There is a HUGE difference between anger and what you're describing. Years ago when I was very young I lived with a man who couldn't accept the break up. Its in your best interest to report it to the police. Your safety should not be taken lightly. Stop caring how calling the police will impact him and start caring about how not calling them could impact you. Be safe!

trying to leave still.

No hope in leaving! No hope in staying! I am not afraid of him! I am afraid of me and my mental stability,no matter how much I try to stay strong he comes back with yet another thing to bring me to tears.Is the tears I am running from and the hurt that comes with it.The torture is even worse,he would wrap me around in his (vicious circle) and I can't get out! I never want to argue or fight back with him but his words cut through like a knife and I am faced with the tongue in my mouth to tell him my hurt and then we start the "hurt game".This is wrong!!! we are supposed to be IN LOVE not the other way around.

when I tried to leave him for good he came with manipulations and then feelings of guilt starts to surround me,it's like I am bound to this "bitter sweet"relationship and it's killing me.

(THIS TOO SHALL PASS)

lovehurts.