Sometimes I literally feel like I am living with a crazy person who has no concept of interpersonal ethics or consideration.
Here is an example that happened today:
I always log out of my Ebay account because both me and my boyfriend of two years actively use the site. Unfortunately yesterday I was unable to log out of my account because our internet crapped out. Apparently I was still logged in because when he went to use the computer he ended up using "buy it now" while still logged into my account. I honestly don't think he realized that "buy it now" does not work like a "shopping cart" and actually obligates you to continue the purchase by paying but what he did was log out of my account without paying and log into his account, "buy it now" on another identical item from the same vendor and pay. This left an unpaid item in my account.
Now, knowing from personal experience that some vendors do not take kindly to unpaid items and will lodge a complaint with Ebay that can suspend usage of your account and considering that I was actively selling a few things I immediately emailed the vendor to cancel the order and to make it clear what happened, gave him my boyfriend's user name so that he'd see that a purchase was really made by him from another account and resulted in the following conversation:
ME: You have to be careful that you're not logged into someone else's account when you make a purchase if you're not going to pay for it. (I then explained how "buy it now" is not a "shopping cart".
Him: Well YOU should make sure that you log out after you used it.
Me: I understand that, but the internet stopped working earlier, remember, and I was unable to log out. It's just good practice to check before making any purchases because if left unpaid the seller can complain and mess up your account. Anyway, I wrote the seller an email, gave him your user name for proof and he said no worries, cancelled the order, and wished me happy holidays. Just be careful for the future.
Him: Well, you should be careful to remember to log out. Anyway, I think Ebay cares more about what you do when you're selling.
Me: Well, no actually because I once reneged on a purchase and my account was suspended.
Him: (sarcastically) Well THANKS for giving them MY username, then...god! (after I already said the seller was totally fine with it and even wished me happy holidays)
Me: I had to! Plus, you made the mistake in the first place!
This is the typical narcissistic thinking my boyfriend displays. He's literally thinking, "how dare you potentially cause a negative thing to happen to me because of a mistake I made even though it was really the only way to go about solving the problem I made." He apologized later because he could see that I was a little angry at his reaction but I still don't think he actually GETS what was ethically wrong with his thinking. And I know it's not something he did on purpose, it was a simple mistake, but I think at some point most non-ADHD adults learn to accept the negative consequences of and take responsibility for their unintentional mistakes. It's so frustrating.