I am 42, add, wife, suffering from ptsd, with adhd, hyper sex drive, husband and we are Blended family. We have been on crazy making, circular communication, unable to resolve conflict for 3-4 years now and I have to get off the crazy train. I have been told that if I would just be a Godly wife, and say yes to sex every time it is requested all, our problems would be solved I just sent my DH this email and was wanting some feedback, Thanks! excuse spelling LOL!
I am choosing TODAY to get off the crazy making cycle with you, It is your choice to join me or not!!
I am angry, and resentful at this moment, and that is mine to resolve, you cant demand I resolve it on your time frame. You have resentments of your own you need to let go of.
Today You can choose to rise above your immeadiate current emotions and feelings and help your wife, you can choose to meet her neglected emotional needs, you can choose to help can yard and house cleaned up OR NOT!
It's your choice!
You can choose to accept that when you neglect your wifes emotional needs, refuse to healthy communication, practice denial, avoidance or withdrawal, it negatively affects your wifes ability to trust, & security, which both affect a WOMANS ability to open up sexually.
Today you can choose to unconditional love and help your wife or not! You can choose to keep doing the same old thing expecting different results or you can choose to try something different.
You can choose to accept that both our actions and behaviors play a part, not just mine!
You can choose to accept that your ability to do the right things depends not on my behavior at all, or you can continue your efforts of control, manipulation, and emotional abuse, that is you choice.
I Love you very much and I am committed to our marriage, I am going to commit to begin taking care of my emotional health, and healing recovery. I will no longer choose to put my emotional health at risk to prove my love or commitment to our marriage. You can choose to support me or not. You can choose unconditional love or not, those are your choices.
You can choose to accept that all the information I have sent your affect our marriage, OR not, its your choice I am going to choice healthy behaviors and choose not to be manipulated by anyone elses unhealthy behaviors.
I apolozie for screaming at lunch please forgive me.
I am going to choose not to scream at you any more to try and get you to hear me, you can choose to hear, and read exactly what I am saying or your can choose to hear or read with your feelings, its your choice. I am choicing HEALTHY. If we disagree on what healthy looks like and you refuse to trust factual documented material, please discuss that with your therapist or doctor and we will agree to disagree, with out manipulation, control, or screaming.
If you feel that what I have stated above is incorrect, I give you permission to print of and show to your therapist, dr. for their opinion, please do not send me a angry reply stating that you feel I am being controlling or attacking by this email. Please show to whom ever for an opinion.
You can choose to have healthy realistic expectations or not, that is your choice, please do not blame me if I do not meet your expectation for lack of knowing what it is, your time frame, or what ever. We each are responsible for managing our own expectations.
You can choose to accept that we each are responsible for any negative thoughts, perceptions, or conclusions, that might be totally incorrect and not valid of what the other is saying or doing.
You can choose to accept where I am today or not!!
I am willing to healthily negotiate any issue with you using healthy communication skills.
Again, I am sorry I screamed at you I was wrong please forgive me.
I Love you and I am committed to our marriage, I MUST get off this crazy carousel we have been on for years!!!!!!