Need Help


 I have recently finished reading the book.  I am getting married in about 44 days, however my future wife and I have some issues.  I believe the major issues are coming from my ADHD and looking for some help and suggestions what do. 

Basically, thought our three years of dating I have issues that seem to continue to go in a cycle.  I tend to be inconsiderate, become defensive and do what I want to do (not terrible things).  I would never cheat on her, I never cheated on anyone in my life.  She can be uncomfortable with my friends as well as my family sometimes.  People tend to have their options and views as I have changed since we have been together.  The way I communicate has also been a problem, I tend to use words or convey the wrong messages, at this point, we are getting ready to get married.  My wife to be lost all trust in me,  she thinks I am shady, I hid things and feels I don't think she is special anymore and I wouldn't/didn't take the extra steps to show her.

She thinks I don't love her as much as she loves me, when the truth of the matter is, I do love her very much, I do think she is very special to me, however my actions don't show her this.  

I am looking for some advice on how I can tell her/show her i do care about her, I do love her and I do want this to work.

Please help!




Have you talked about going

Have you talked about going to an adhd specialist who could help you both learn how to talk to each other and how to hear each other? This will only get worse when you get married. There is a lot of help here and there is a lot of help out there to help you. It will be extremely hard and it will require more work than you ever thought imaginable, but with the right tools you both can learn to manage it.
DF's picture

This might help

"The Five Love Languages"  -> The book may help you and your new wife find what it is that gives you the affirmation that you need.

Certain things seem impossible, but some are routines that can be developed.  Have an honest discussion with her about it and find what speaks to her.  As for your ADD(HD) issues, it's hard to comment when you mention you "hid things" from her.  I'm not trying to pry, but if you know what it is that you're doing that bugs her so much, why continue with it?  It sounds as if this is more of an issue for her than saying the wrong thing.....