I am new to the site and I am seeking advice. Been married to my husband for 32 years. He has exhibited some signs of ADHD over the years but it has been getting worse over the last few years. He has been told by the 2 marriage therapists we have seen that he very likely has adhd. He will not go back to see these therapists (that I found) and when I ask him to find a therapist, he won't. He refuses to accept the “stigma” and the “label” of ADHD (those are the words he uses) and therefore refuses to seek evaluation. I bought 2 copies of the ADHD effect on Marriage and gave him one. He has been reading it but I really feel like he is refuting most of it. He is writing notes on every single page so it is taking him a really long time to read it. I was hoping for a miracle revelation like "OMG I have put my poor wife through so much stress and anxiety and I have been such an asshole and I need to do whatever I can to try to make it up to her." So, yeah, that's not happening. I feel like I’m living with Jekyll and Hyde. Most of the time he is very nice and pleasant and then, without warning he’s picking a fight and being hurtful and disrespectful. The most bothersome thing is that his perception of people, mostly me, is skewed. He accuses me of the things that he in fact does. Trying to have a conversation is futile. He interrupts constantly. The conversation typically turns into argument and then goes in every direction and leaves us both exasperated. During these arguments he says very hurtful things to me. He just cannot see that he is being hurtful. It is always justified or explained. He has apologized to other people for his behavior but with me he cannot accept that he’s wrong, and has no regret for his behavior. The apologies, if at all, are typically after hours or days or even years and are hollow non-apologies. Ex: “I’m sorry you took it that way”. He has lost relationships with people he loves because of his bad behavior. I'm at the point that I just don't think I can deal with this if he continues to refuse to do anything about it. I appreciate any advice!