My wife called me at work today (she hardly ever does that) feeling very bad because she was "reprimanded" by her boss for being unprofessional at a meeting last night. He also told her she was too dominating (meaning she talked way too much). She talked about how she knows I have been saying that to her, and that she must be getting worse with age because now her boss is saying it to her. She was feeling really bad, and I started out being very empthetic, saying things like "That sucks" and "You must be feeling really bad about that." I also asked her "What can I do to help?" and she said "You are doing it." THEN, she started going into details of what she said and did, and then even more detail about the content of the meeting that really had nothing to do with what she was saying at the beginning of the conversation. She talked non-stop for awhile, and all I could think was "I really don't need to hear all these details." "She's gotten way off topic from the reason she called." "She's really gotten away from expressing her feelings." Things like that. At that point - there was nothing she was saying that I could grab ahold of to comment on, or reflect back, to get her bak on topic. So I ended up saying something like "You seem to have getting off topic." And she did get back to her point, but it felt very awkward to me. I wonder if there is something else I might have said.
Need Help Bringing My Wife Back to the Point
Submitted by Hoping4More on 05/13/2010.
My daughter does this too
Submitted by Sueann on
She has to tell me every detail, like who's dating who and who lives with who, before she tells me the particular point of the story. If I try to direct her, I get "No, listen, listen" and off she goes again.
That's one of the primary ways I know she has ADD, but unfortunately, she thinks it's all normal. Even when her son was diagnosed with ADD, she still doesn't think she has a problem.
I wish I knew what to tell you to solve this problem. I've never found the answer. I just wanted you to know you are not alone.
Submitted by Nettie on
My husband did something similar yesterday, but his issue is that he doesn't want to leave a problem unsolved. He got angry when I tried to wrap up a call after 30 minutes when I had just jumped on the phone to ask for a quick PC fix. I told him later on, when he explained his feelings, that I had a schedule to which I had to return and that we have to learn to stick to our plans or we'll never get things done. I suggested we schedule another time to finish fixing the computer problem, and he accepted this proposition cheerfully. I'm proud of him for wanting to do a good job and acknowledging the need for more practice of time management skills.