I am trying to figure out which steps I'm missing so that I can better "remember" (using my smartphone and any other reminders I feel necessary) and establish better procedures so my husband doesn't feel the burden of being my external hard drive/frontal lobe/cruise director. I am usually pretty good about remembering things that fall into my routine, such as taking out the trash. Even though it's only once a week, it's part of my Sunday night routine, so all of the tasks are "connected" in my mind. Also, my husband and I plan out the basic plan for the week on Sunday nights, which I put into my phone as well, so I do have awareness (even if I forget at times) of what is going on. Usually, I get things done when the event itself is determined, but whether it's a time-disaster due to poor planning is uncertain. What I have a REALLY hard time with is the following:
1) It takes me significantly longer than other people to plan out TIME, what needs to happen, and how to be prepared ahead of time for certain things, and planning out the minute-to-minute actions I need to take, and possibly have my children take for something to be accomplished. I might help plan the week, but I have not been planning out the details that need to happen. My husband has been taking care of this much of the time, primarily because he is afraid that I can't/won't. Now he's abruptly stopped planning for me. Lest I be under siege following that last comment; I should say I don't have a problem with this at all. I want/NEED to learn how to do this better and frankly I'm tired of having to listen to him complain about my planning skills WHEN HE HAS ASKED ME TO DEFER TO HIM IN ALL MATTERS OF TIME. I'm determined to get better at this, but I really need help.
I have determined (either recently or in the past) that the following things are necessary:
1. Checklist for repeated events, such as athletic equipment for my kids.
2. Need to enter event into phone the day before as a "repeated event" if I need to have something cleaned prior to an event
3. Need to make sure I know who's going to be where at a certain time with which kid.
4. when I have to leave, how long it will take, take into account transition time (from soccer field to car, for example), length of drive
5. Do I need to cook something different because it will take too long given when we have to be somewhere?
6. Where will I be in the cooking cycle? Will I need to cook something that day or will I have leftovers?
I wanted to know both from NON-ADHDers and ADHDers alike whether I am missing any questions I need to ask myself. I gave soccer as an example, but it could be anything. AM I ASKING ALL OF THE RIGHT QUESTIONS? I really suck at this...
I do NOT know how my husband does this. It takes him almost no time, he almost always thinks of everything, and automatically asks himself the right questions, and even refines the plan as he goes. He's got such a strong sense of time, even without a watch, he just knows, usually within a few minutes or less what time it is! I would give anything for that ability!
Any advice on planning is much appreciated :)!