Need help with spouse....

I have a wife that needs help but will not seek it. She is 38 and has a generational history with ADD and ADHD. Mom, Brother,Uncle etc. She is always yelling at me and the kids and cannot complete any task around the house with out it talking hours (sometimes days) and constant reminding by me... which she hates with a passion. I try picking up after her but I feel its not solving the problem but instead making me more resentful for having to pick up after her.

She yells at me and the kids all the time without warning and after needs to lay down to calm herself or tells me she hates me and an hour later tells me she loves me? I have no experience with this and feel that I am making it worse but reminding her to complete task (she hates that) or asking her to seek help because it kiling our relationship.


I need some help on what to do. I've asked her to read articles, books anything but she does not read because she can't sit still..