Just looking for a bit of support. I feel like I am barely treading water and am looking for hope. There is WAY TOO MUCH going on in my life and I don't know how I will manage it all. Just some kind words & reassurance from those who have been through this. I've had good periods before but am going through a bad one.
I am at the start of a new phase of life:
- just moved to a new city in a foreign country 2mos ago
- my wedding is happening, overseas, in 3 months (thank God we hired a planner)
- just started a new internship (in a foreign language) working full-time
- still trying to get our apartment in order (we don't have shelves or closets yet and have been here for 2 months)
- want to get on top of the ADD
- just started new meds w/a local doctor (ADD specialist, but he is on the other side of town and only open during office hrs so I have to take 3hrs off from work every 4th Monday to go see him)
- trying to find a couple of friend groups over here, including an ADD self-help group, and trying to get exercise back into my life, so going out 1-2 evenings a week (and giving the DH some blessed non-chaotic time at home)
I am trying to get on top of the ADD. I am reading Ari Tuckman's workbook, looking for some kind of CBT and/or psychotherapist who a) knows ADD and b) possibly speaks some English and c) maybe can do some couples work with the DH involved. I am trying to always make schedules which I just know I will break. I am so frustrated at my inability to schedule, to follow my own plans, to listen to what my DH says he wants to do without forgetting & suggesting something else 20 seconds later, and to not get anything done at work day after day because I spend my whole day doing wedding stuff, looking up ADD stuff, or writing emails (e.g. hi friend, do you think you can come to the wedding). I spend my mornings coming up with fun ideas which only irritate my DH, who just wanted to have a quiet morning after a LONG day at work yesterday and not think about adding anything else to our schedule. On Sunday he talked about making a master list of everything that needed to get done wedding-wise and guess what, it's Thursday and we still haven't made that list. Nor a meal plan for the week, nor a schedule, nor nothing, and we've floundered through more than half the week now.
I listened to a webinar on overwhelm a couple weeks ago which suggested doing a brain dump then just focusing on what I have to do for the next hour. But I don't WANT to stop thinking about these things because I know I'll just lose the paper the brain dump is written on, not do anything about what I've written down, not finish the tasks I was supposed to wrap up 2 hrs ago, etc, etc, etc. I will just end up failing again.
People are always saying it takes us more time to do things, well, where do you get that extra time? Stay up late to do stuff, not get enough sleep, and then feel worse the next day? But all the books say to make sleep a #1 priority because getting enough sleep decreases symptoms. It does for me. So what do you do? Work fewer hours in the day? Earn less money? Skip out on time with your spouse? Skip dinner? Skip the ADD support group? Skip the concert Friday night which you were looking forward to and might help you relax?
In my panicked motivation I am thinking of buying a Franklin planner (as suggested to me in another thread) and signing up for Laura Rowlands' time management course before the discount ends tomorrow but am pretty convinced I will just lose enthusiasm & fail at both of those too. I can't talk to my DH about it until work hours are over because he is blessed with the ability to concentrate on work when he tells himself to, even when he has big emotions going on. I feel like a sailboat blown around wherever my emotions lead while he is a steamboat, able to work despite what he's feeling, and put away whatever he needs to for the evening and pull it right back out of its drawer at the appropriate time.
Oh and meanwhile my mom (the ADDer too) has apparently been suggesting to my friends that DH and I have extra frequent flyer miles that we can give to, like, anyone who would have a hard time getting to the wedding. Which is not the case - every mile we have has a purpose. We are splitting wedding costs 3 ways (us, his parents, my parents) and don't want to go around giving extra money to anyone who asks. So I have to respond to a friend's facebook message that no, we can't help her, and tell my mom to cut it the heck out with this promising-our-stuff-to-others-behind-our-backs. And add on to that, both my grandparents are in bad health & my grandpa has gotten much worse in the past couple days. And these are my mom's parents, and in this difficult time I have to scold her.
I can't breathe; can you guys help?!?