Need to vent!

OMG!!  Today is NOT going well!!  My dh's old counselor called and discussed the bill with him, after I made it a point to ask them to NOT talk to him about it.  I have been making payments but the balance is high due to complications with my insurance (things that in a million years my dh will not "get" and will only piss him off).  Well my dh calls me at work (I'm not supposed to get or make personal calls) and completely freaks out.  When I tried to tell him we would talk when he picked me up from work he hung up on me...now I don't even know if hes picking me up, as he wont answer the phone.  He doesn't seem to remember that it was his idea to go to counseling that time and he chose to end it when the counselor told him he was wrong.  His version is that the bill is my fault because I made us go to counseling we didn't need and now because of me we owe a bunch of money.  I called the secretary for the counselor and asked why they called my house and talked to him and they were like "well we needed to know how much the next payment was going to be and he started asking questions, were sorry".  Uggggg!!!!  Soooooo much for moving in a positive direction.

Then I have a job interview this evening and I'm not sure if I will get there either!!  Its my dream job and it would be a big positive for us, more pay and I wouldn't be stressed out all the time like I am with my current job.  My stomach is just churning......I hate stress!!!!!!  Thank you for letting me vent, any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

It has happened, it cannot be

It has happened, it cannot be undone now..so move forward. This can be a huge issue or this can be a speed bump. I hope he picks you up from work and you can calmly explain to him how this happened (keeping the details from him because you think he won't understand and/or would be mad is not a good idea) and explain your plan to repay it. Stress to him that it is done, you are taking care of it, and there is no need for it to be a huge issue...and don't engage in a battle if he chooses to try and make it one. Let him threaten to quit school..it's OK. Just breathe!

I hope you get to the job interview and best of luck with it!!

 

Vent away!

Doctors are getting SO Pushy these days. I went to the dermatologist for a checkup, needed 4 spots removed, it took 5 minutes. You don't see a menu and have No idea how the Tab is going. I go to check out and she looks at me and says that will be $560 please. Ummm... not to mention I was 4 hours past needing my Adderall. I felt like everyone was staring at me. I asked to pay $50 and get a receipt so I could get an FSA reimbursement. No she said... We take payments like 50% or maybe 33%. Nice... Belittle the patients. My point is the doctor's office workers don't give a crap about who to call. They just want to say they had a body on the phone and it was easy to rile up your husband, then he went for you.

Sorry you had a crappy day. I hope he picked you up and you made it to your interview! Good luck on the interview!

Hang in there... Life seems so much harder when the Home Team is not on the same page...

YYZ

Your awesome!

Thank you for your support..you guys are awesome!!  The interview went well (I think), it's my DREAM job!!!!  Now I have to come up with a business plan, by Saturday to show the owner how I can bring in money for the facility (horse stable) and make it better than the other 25 people he interviewed!  Just a little pressure...lol

The dh had calmed down by the time he picked me up, but he came bearing divorce papers to fill out.  He wasn't angry or anything when he gave them to me just very matter of fact about it.  His reasoning was 1. that he feels I am with him only because I don't think I can find anyone else, so he is giving me my way out and 2. he wants to join the army and doesn't want anything tying him down (he wants to start his life over with no mistakes).  With his mental health issues and physical issues and the fact hes 32 years old I don't even think they will take him....but he says he talked to a recruiter so who knows.  But when I came home from the interview he acted completely like nothing happened and we even went to the bible study class at church.  So I'm a bit confused and overwhelmed today. 

And the rollercoaster continues!!!

Good for you...

I'm glad the interview went well!

Your DH seems to really "Live in the moment", which is good for dropping something that really upset him and moving on, until it comes up again. Good for you because he did not want to go over and over on the subject.

Then out of the blue D Papers: 1 - He thinks you could not find anyone else??? It sounds like He wants You to pull the trigger... 2 - The Great Escape Part II? The Army would give him structure, but I'm not sure how well an ADDer would be supported by the Drill Sargent???

At least your life does not sound boring?!?! ;) Keep us posted on your Dream Job!

YYZ

No its never boring

No its never boring....sometimes I wish it was.  Really I don't think he even knows what he wants as far as being married goes.  One day he is happy that we are still together and making future plans and then some days it seems like hes just trying to make me leave.  Like you said he wants me to "pull the trigger" so that it isn't his fault.  I am also pretty sure hes self medicating again because he has the same mood swings and nasty attitude he had before when he was. 

I'm really not to worried about the whole army thing because first I don't think he can pass the physical, but even if he did he will end up in military jail because hes a hothead.  He will mouth off to the wrong person or get in a fight and hes done.  Not to mention the fact that give him a week and he will change his mind...he doesn't like being told what to do or people controlling his life.

Right now I am just concentrating (not easy at all, I really want to focus on my marriage and getting it back to a even level) on getting this proposal finished and keeping my fingers crossed that its better than the other 24!  No matter his decisions I have to watch out for myself and my son.

The Plan

It sounds like you have a plan in place. Focus on your son, yourself and your new job.

Keep us posted :)

YYZ