We just got rid of our couch recently. It was torn up and springs were popped up from my kids jumping on it. My husband went to Costco to look for a replacement. He found a white, leather couch he wanted. I told him there is no way I want a white, leather couch. The kids would ruin it and I don't find leather to be comfortable. He insisted I look at it, which I did. I found another one there that I wanted and sent him pictures. He went back to Costco to look at it while I was at work. He called me at work to tell me the white, leather couch was marked down to $900 because it was the last one. Once again, I said I don't want that couch and could he look at the other one. When I got home from work, I found out that he purchased the one he wanted anyway. I was livid! He insisted I told him to do what he wanted. If I did say that, it was regarding whether or not to buy the couch I liked, not the one he wanted. I have only told him multiple times I didn't want that couch. I told him I'm not helping him move it inside, so he had my 13 year old daughter help him. Right now, I'm refusing to sit on it.
I was angry and went to bed early. He decided to go out with a friend of his to a strip club. He does not go to strip clubs very often thank goodness. He told me he was going and I told him not to spend much money because we have to pay a $540 energy bill. When I asked how it was, he told me that he talked to some stripper who convinced him to do a private dance and that it was cost more than he expected ($60). He also paid $20 to get in and bought drinks. I told him it's too bad he didn't get sex for that amount of money because I'm not giving him any for awhile. He said that he might get some later because the stripper wants to go out with him and his best friend to a nightclub. I know he was joking about the sex part, but I have no doubt that the stripper probably did give her number to them. He and his best friend are both very attractive and charming, so it doesn't surprise me. I left the house for work angry and upset. I cried in the McDonalds drive-thru this morning.
My husband knows I've been upset the past couple of days over some issues with friends of mine and now he has added to my stress. He just doesn't think. Things have been better since he started Adderall last September, but I am still dealing with his impulsive decisions and forgetfulness on a daily basis. I love him very much, but I find myself pissed off at him so often.
Is he in therapy? Medication
Submitted by MFrances on
Is he in therapy? Medication can only do so much on its own. Therapy can help with the impulsiveness and with forgetting. My heart sank when I read about the strip club, private dance, and saying to you the stripper gave him her number and he might meet up with her! He is cheating on you, even if he hasn't actually had sex with another woman, he is being unfaithful to you. And throwing it in you face. If he is in therapy, I hope he talks about this. It might help you to go too and talk about the strip clubs.
Venting
Submitted by summerrhiannon on
I don't feel like he was cheating on me by going to a strip club. I use to be a stripper myself (way back before I had kids) and I familiar with the games they play. I don't care if he goes occasionally to a strip club, but I did not want him spending any extra money on these girls. They also pretend to be in love with every guy and he fell for it. Ugh!
The next day after this incident, I had to work all day (8 am-6pm). I drove an hour to get home, in a rush, so we could take our kids to the circus. I told him to make sure everyone was ready to go. When I was about 20 minutes from home, I got a call from my 13 year old that no one was there to pick her up from practice. I told her to call her step-dad because I was driving home from work. Then, I got home and none of the kids (10, 8, and 5) had eaten or were ready to go. My husband was out picking up my 13 year old still. I ended up flipping out and yelling at him when he got home. Not only did he not have the kids ready, but he also had not done any of the things I asked him to do that day. He retaliated by saying he has to make himself some food before we leave. He made a sandwich and stood there eating it, slowly while I rushed around getting the kids ready. The 2 younger kids started crying because they thought they would miss the circus and I was screaming at their dad. It was a mess. We finally made it to the circus, 20 minutes after it started.
He put his arm around me at the circus to calm me down and we ended up having a decent time. However, when we got home, he went to sleep on the couch and I vented to my roommate about the situation. He wasn't asleep apparently. He got up off the couch and told me he was going out because he doesn't want to be around me. I told him why doesn't he fix the computer like he was supposed to that day so we could do our orders for our business. Thankfully, he did stay home and do that because otherwise, the next few days would not have been pretty.
My husband does not go to counseling, but I haven't really insisted (except for the time period last year that he was having an affair and we were separated). I have been to multiple counselors and haven't really felt like it was helpful.