new to this

First off, I'm just so happy to have found this forum- until yesterday i thought i was the only wife to have a husband who isn't interested in sex-

I am my husbands third wife and he's only 32- his first wife told him to stop taking his meds and he listened- I didn't even know what adhd was until yesterday- Like so many people here I feel like a roommate/parent  in this relationship My husband and I have sex maybe once every two months-

but that doesn't stop him from pleasing himself and leaving the dirty tee shirts for me to pick up- I can't tell you how hurtful this is- the resentment -

I can get over the messiness of the house, the forgetfulness and just about every other symptom that goes with adhd- but the lack of intimacy is killing us- I've tried bringing this up in several different ways- yesterday when I told him I see signs of adhd effecting him he told me that it was a childhood disease he out grew- when I asked him to look at this sight with me he flat out refused - he self medicates with alcohol, pot and at times with meth- we are just getting back together after his last bout with the meth- where even though we weren't having sex he got on line and joined several wed dating sights soliciting sex- of course I found out- he promised this would stop and after three more days the same thing happened again- it was just too painful for me- after a two week separation  we're back together but my resentment is still here- I have good days and bad days- I'm trying very hard to encourage his positive traits- what really kills me is here I am doing everything I can think of to build a sexual life together he'd rather go at alone or with strangers- while I'm sitting in the next room- just don't want to be towel girl anymore-

Thanks for listening