New to ADHD

My husband has not been diagnosed with ADHD ( yet). We have been married for 13 years. We both know that he is ADHD & we both are reading up on it. Me more then him.

This diagnosis will answer alot of years of wondering what the hec is wrong with our life.

Allthough it does not begin to help us at this point. I think that I feel worse!! I dont know how he really feels because he isnt willing to talk much about it. I mentioned many times, (years) that I am done with the way our life is going.

I have allways in the past been a very understanding wife, very supportive,  the cheerleader for him . About a year ago I stopped!  Everything about our life I am reading in the blogs. It scares me!! I can't keep going like this. He has never followed thru with Anything that we talk about for our marriage. I truely do not see it happening either.

He says if I leave (separate) with our son whom is 13 that he will get worse not better. To me suicide comes into my mind. Also going back to alcohol. It's all most like I'm trapped here.

I don't want to give him alternatives but I am not willing to give up any more of my life with an untreated ADHD husband. From what I'm reading, he has to come up with the plan for his life & what he is going to do with the treatment available. 

What do I do now? Yes Loving, caring,  patient, tolerant and kind, got that, but I am so much in my head( those thoughts that it's never gonna change). Is there life out there? Years of this can rake a toll on us both and I understand  that.

I am watching my life go by & can't seem to get real positive about this journey.

We are both 55 years old.

What do I do if he doesn't seek treatment?

Thank you for letting me vent, Lord knows I haven't found anyone that understands what we are living thru, UNTILL I found this site and the people willing to talk about (IT).