My husband and I have been married for 10 years. We have three amazing children. He was diagnosed with ADHD last year. Our middle child was also diagnosed with ADHD two years ago.
Before he was diagnosed we had our issues. He loved spending time on the internet. He would look for old girlfriends or download porn. When I caught him, he would apologize and say he would never do it again, but he did. He flirts with all female co-workers and hides his phone and IPad so he doesn't have to explain his behavior. When I call him out on it he explodes. He has broken two laptops because he gets easily frustrated. He has Low Frustration Tolerance. I tell him this bothers me but he claims he forgot all these incidents. He also forgets everything and blames me for it. If I move his keys to put them on our key hooks, he gets mad. He is mad when there is clutter from our kids. Is this behavior related to ADHD or is this a deeper issue?
He was put on Adderall but he stopped because he lost so much weight. He has very low self esteem. I've tried changing his diet, suggest exercising and getting counseling to help us with our issues. He agrees and then he fizzles out after a few weeks. I don't know how to help him see his commitments through. I have never been around someone with ADHD so I don't know how to handle these situations. Do all individuals with ADHD engage in risky behavior or is this a personal issue? I love him but I am wondering if I am going to spend the next ten years reminding him that he needs to set a better example for our son and daughters. Are there some books to help me? I don't believe in divorce so I need all the help I can helping this sometimes amazing man.
Thank you for letting me vent.