New and Needing Help About Commitment

Hi All,

I'm a non ADD woman with a ADD partner. We have been together for 5 and a half years, living together for all but 2 months in the beginning. We area very loving, happy couple for the majority of the time but during our relationship there has been two major blips.

Both times we have had the major blips it has been during stressful times. The first time he told me our relationship was over, that he wanted to travel. I reacted as calm as I possibly could and we had a long talk but he was adamant. The next day as I was due to leave our apartment he cried and said he wanted me to stay. So I did, and we tried our best to work through things.

Everything was fine for just under two years then a couple of days ago there was another blip.

Last Summer he asked me to marry him, but he wasn't comfortable about making any plans. This changed a few weeks ago and we began looking at wedding ideas, we decided on very low key and simple so we would have as little stress as possible. We were both really happy. Then we set the actual date and decided that we would tell our immediate families the following day.

Ten minutes before he was due to speak to his, out of nowhere he exclaimed that he did not want to get married, that he wants to travel...

I was yet again heartbroken.

Again I tried to be as calm with him as possible but I feel so let down. At the very beginning of our relationship we talked marriage, kids, a home. It was what we both agreed that we wanted. Now he tells me that he can't commit to anything, no getting married, no buying a home, nothing. These are things that are incredibly important to me, especially as I am mid thirties now.

I love this guy beyond reason, outside of these two instances he is the most loving, thoughtful, kind man I have ever known. He's been a rock for me during ill health of both myself and my parents. We laugh, have fun and he's written the most beautiful sentiments to me that I have ever read.

I know it's the ADD making him behave this way, I'm trying so hard to work around this, but it's the second time this has happened and other than join him on his travels I don't know what on earth I can do to get some of the stability that I crave.

Any advice would be much appreciated.