New to this forum

Hello, I am the Non- ADHD spouse of an adult diagnosed ADHD husband.  He is now taking meds which is helping but I can't shake the anger and frustration that has built up previously to treatment.  We have recently set up some boundries and he is doing well following them.  Our issues were many, drinking, video games, addictive tendencies to everything- caffiene, nicotine, thankfully no hard drugs though, and crazy sleep schedules.  He quit drinking 6 months ago and that has helped immensly.  The newest most raw issue is that lack of time together.  I work full time and go to school, he is in the military and goes to school full time.  When he gets down time he wants to play video games or retreat to his office instead of spending time with our son (12) and me.  Also, he has recently started coming to bed at like 4am every morning which has completely devestated out love life.  Our newest plan was for him to set a timer and come to bed at midnight.  He is very open to change so I am thankful for that but I hate that he needs all these rules to make me feel like he loves me.  Am I going crazy or being too needy?  


I have read Dr. Orlov's book and have started having learning converstaions (first one yesterday) and will continue to do that.  Any other suggestions to bridge the gap between us?