I was diagnosed in the fall at 33 years old... I have always known I was different. I actually have ADHD (combined type) with a side of OCD and anxiety.
I have been married for 9 years. We have a 3 year old son and another baby due in November.
I didn't believe my diagnosis at the beginning- even though it was made after 6 months of therapy, family interviews, looking through old report cards, cognitive tests...
I am not your 'typical' ADHD-er... I did well in school - getting almost straight As. Once in awhile I would get a B (for me that was a major bomb). I went to the top law school in the country and have worked full time as an attorney (for the past 5 years). I've never had a car accident- other than rear-ending someone once on an icy road. I don't lie. I am good with money. I do almost all the housework and scheduling.
I have accepted my diagnosis- because I have now researched it enough to see the pieces fit together for me... My symptoms are more impairing in my home realm than at work.
My primary problem is controlling my emotions. I am a very intense person and experience highs and lows that cause me tremendous pain, embarrassment, etc... Over the years, I have learned to control my behaviors very well... I feel enraged on the inside- but I rarely rage or lash out, outwardly. I can feel intense sadness and suicidal- but I retreat to my room and cry alone in my bed. I can feel exuberant and manic to the point of jumping around uncontrollably and laughing... well that one I let myself express...
After I have a mood swing, I feel incredible self-loathing about my inability to control myself and my emotional side. I wish I wasn't so vulnerable to my moods and so sensitive and so irritable... etc... I find it incredibly embarrassing. Especially amongst my colleagues- most of whom are wholly logical and dispassionate.
Until my diagnosis- I was getting increasingly anxious and depressed about this. I was on concerta in the fall- which was AWESOME. My anxiety was gone immediately and I had MUCH BETTER control. My therapist surmises that I use so much energy trying to control myself that it has created unbearable anxiety...
Anyway- I have had to stop my meds as I am pregnant and I am struggling.
Can anyone relate to this?
Hi, by the way! *waves* I have read this forum for months and feel like I "know" some of you.