New to forum & crying out for help desperately PLEASE!

My wife and I are in our mid forties and I have 2 stepdaughter's. My wife has add and my eldest stepdaughter who is 14 years has adhd. My youngest stepdaughter is 12 years old and has the rebellious I know everything attitude of 21. I am what the constant arguments between the girls. Majority of the time I am the one doing the cooking and cleaning up of the house while everyone is on their devices. I am frequently arguing with my wife to have the girls pitch in around the house because the are at that age and can learn to help contribute. My wife is constantly forgetting to follow up with the kids on a major of things. When I am constantly reminding everybody about brushing your teeth, pickup the cup, close the cupboards, etc I am made out to be the grumpy one. 

I love my wife and daughters dearly but am tired of battling with them and need help before it get too late... PLEASE!