New to forum, but not to ADHD

I am seeking support and hopefully beable to share some as well. My life is unmanageable in just about every area right now and I don't think the bottom can go much lower. Trying to take care of myself in the midst of losing our farm, and potentially our animals. Long story short at least for now is that with the farm up for sale needless to say the "expectations" that I know I shouldn't have knowing what I do about ADHD I am still struggling with and ready to rip my hair out. It has been very stressful and feel like in addition to having the property ready to sell I feel like I am having to tell my spouse of 13 years what to do. He is sooooo dependent on me and that is partly my fault for allowing it to get to this point. I will post more later. I need to feed our animals. I just want some peace of mind and know I have to find that within myself. I'm just having a hard time grieving everything right now including a marriage that is not meeting my needs in any way. I've tried every way I know how to try and make this work, I'm exhausted emotionally and physically. Need to pull my self out of the self pity. Will post more later. I'm glad I found this forum. Thanks for letting me share.

llamamomma

Six years ago, I was where you are. I have a farm. My (ADD) husband ran up tremendous debts, wouldn't/couldn't get a job or help much with the farm. It is SO frustrating, trying to run a 'family farm' alone, and living with someone who didn't want to be here. I was so afraid of losing the farm. I divorced my husband, but had to refinance the farm to buy out his share. I got to keep the farm, but have a huge mortgage that I'll be paying until I'm 80 years old. If I couldn't have kept the farm, I think I would have started over with a smaller place.

I now have child support and some inheritance, so money isn't the big problem it was  (for the moment), but it's still hard to make much money from farming. I raise grass-fed beef and lamb, but don't have enough pasture to raise very many. I also have a small farmstand in the summer where I sell vegetables that I raise.

Please write more. Don't let the stress get to you; I lived with tremendous stress for many years, and now I'm suffering for it. All I ask for now is to ekk out a living and enjoy my farm in peace.