New here

Hi there.  I wasn't sure where to post an introductory message so I will include it with this post.  My husband has undiagnosed ADD but since both his daughter and son have it (from a previous marriage), and he exhibits plenty of the signs, we just assume he has ADD (we also have a daughter together which I hope she does not end up having ADD as well).  Counselling is not in the budget at this time so we just deal with things as they come along.  For the most part, things are pretty good.  There was a time when I wanted to leave but we worked through that and things have been much better for a few years now.

The biggest problem that we have is video games.  I can't tell you how many times I want to throw out the playstation and get rid of the computer.  If I could never access the internet at home again so that he had to do something at home besides being on it, I would make that sacrifice.  I mean really, at 37 years old, its time to grow up and stop the immaturity.  DH says he doesn't know what to do with himself but if you only do the same thing and don't do something else, well duh, you never will know what else is out there.  You can't try something for a few days and then go right back to the videogames becuase then you never give anything else a chance. 

This is my biggest gripe.  The man can literally be on there for hours a day and not move from the seat.  I dont' even care that I do most of the household chores.  That really doesn't bother me.  I would rather see DH doing just about anything else BUT videogames. 

Anyway thats my biggest vent and I just wanted to get that out to other people who can definitely understand me.

I know how annoying that can

I know how annoying that can be... we definitely have gone through stages of heavy-duty gaming here as well.  I wonder, though, if you aren't making the videogames a scapegoat for some other issue(s).  What is it specifically about the videogames that bother you?  How is it different than him sitting on the couch reading a book, or watching a movie?  Does he play with the kids sometimes or only solo?

Just some things to think about.

Nettie's picture

Well, duh...no, not exactly

ADHD people don't always remember things like the good advice you gave to try new things so you have something else to do. First, it takes mental and physical energy to try new things.

Sometimes, you simply need a destressor/rejuvenator like video games.

On the other hand (speaking as a spouse who also despises the CONSOLE of EVILNESS), it often helps to have a friend help strategize those plans for new activities. For my husband, I researched tabletop gaming opportunities (still provides the stimulation but has a higher level of interactivity/face time - and especially, a time limit!) and even live-action roleplaying (great kinetic social op), both of which my husband has really enjoyed. The LARPing has also opened a creative outlet since they design and build their own weapons and costumes.

I encouraged (begged) my husband for years to try creative projects since he has an AMAZING imagination, but it took me mapping and managing the details to achieve success. Your husband may need some assistance like my husband and I do (my DH helps keep my art pursuits on track by being a fan when I get discouraged; thanks, Jeff!). Best wishes, ~N