New here... In need of advice ASAP

I just made this account now after trying to find help & info online. So, here's my ''story''...

I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year and it's long distance. Problem is.. I just don't understand what he expects from me regarding his anger issues caused by ADHD. He gets so angry over little things, so I try to explain my side but he just flips out, expecting me to take it. And I do, mostly.. I just don't know when I need to back off because he can't help it, or when he's actually being mean and I need to stand up for myself.

I'm sick of saying sorry when it wasn't even me that did anything bad. Any time I get mad at something, he says I'm doing it on purpose to provoke him. But when I'm being accused of wanting to leave him for someone else, not caring about him, and being told I can't have male friends without it making him mad, of course I react. I didn't use to.. I would reassure him in the nicest way possible, but after a year of these constant problems, I can't hold my temper all of the time. 

He says I don't understand his ADHD, and to be honest he's right. Because he doesn't explain anything to me. The things I find out online only help to a certain extent. He says I need to speak to his parents to learn how to control him.. Basically he just expects me to control him and put up with his anger instead of him recognising what he's doing. I do understand he can't help it, but sometimes he seems to use it as an excuse so he can act however he wants and I get the blame for not knowing how to deal with it. 

 

I don't even know if any of this makes sense, because I'm so out of my depth with this...