New to Holiday's with ADD

Just recently I was diagnosed with ADD and started medication a long with talk to a counselor.  Within the last 5 weeks my wife and I have been "in-house" separated I live/sleep down stairs when the kids go do bed.  We had a talk last week and we have actually started making progress which is a GOOD thing.  Now my questions are about the holiday's and how do we act?  Since my wife and I barely do anything together, we do not talk, we do not do anything that would be considered husband and wife, do we go to each other's family during the holiday's or I go to mine and she goes to hers? 

Here is an example...I was supposed to work the day after T-day so we were going to my family's on Thursday day and I was coming back Thursday night.  Now that I am not working, when I told my wife, she said that maybe I could work some nursing shifts and still come back home?  I pondered this a bit, even took Melissa's advice and asked her if I did not have any nursing shifts am I going to your family's or am I still coming home? She stood for a bit and I asked if she would like to think about it and she said she would. Just to test the waters, I went deer hunting and the meat is ready for me to pick up, I told my wife that I would pick it up when the kids and I went to my family's on Thursday, I wanted to see what she would say and if she still planned on going. Her response was "Just you and the kids are going?"  I told her that we have not talked about it so I did not know if she still planned on going or not and she made the reference that she still planned on going.   

I understand about the time/space needed and I am not trying to start something, but feeling like that she gets to choose when and where we will be together and I have no say so.  She can come to my family's but I cannot come to hers? Do I still invite her to mine? I want this to be peaceful, I really do but not liking her coming to mine but I am not invited to hers.  Any advice/help from anyone would be appreciated!!!!