New but very confused and desperate

In September I will be married 20 years.  To most people looking in we have a good marriage.  We have had our ups and downs and I have left once due to having an affair.  But, now I feel very trapped and after watching the Today show I am really convinced that my husband has ADHD and it is ruining our marriage.  In a nutshell.......I take care of everything in the home...laundry, dishes (although he does do the morning ones during the school year) and I must beg, plead and cry to get anything done that I am not capable.  Everything that keeps the marriage fresh is my, any dates (which are so few and far between) , dinners out, anything. I feel like I don't have partner...I feel like I have a roommate.  My husband tells me daily that he loves me but I question it everyday as his actions rarely show it.  I feel like I am not appreciated at all and he never notices me no matter what I do. Right now he rarely comes around as I nag so much...which I dont blame him but he is firther shutting me out.  This morning I even showed him the 6 signs from this site and he told me I was crazy.  I don't know what to do.....continue this way until my daughter graduates in June and leave or does someone have any advice? He won't go to counseling as he thinks there is nothing wrong!