Hi I'm new to this forum. Thanks for allowing me to contribute my story. My six year marriage has been on the rocks for awhile now. My wife has ADHD and I'm the non-ADHD spouse and it's been pretty awful. I believe that dating an ADHD person is really great but being married to an ADHD person is awful. And I'll explain why. When dating an ADHD person, they hyperfocus on the new relationship 100% and it feels really great! However, once the hyperfocus shifts to something else like a new career, then the ADHD person starts ignoring, abandoning, neglecting and abusing their partner. The non-ADHD person is suddenly a very low priority to the ADHD person. I'm married yet feel very alone. Everything is higher priority than me. I've gone to the beach by myself, I've gone to the movies by myself and I've gone to restaurants by myself. I'm actually considering going on a cruise by myself. I don't need this in my life. I'm a great person, I have a lot going for me. I don't deserve to be ignored and neglected. She doesn't even pay attention to the dog or the plants in the house. They thrive under my care but are neglected under her care. She was married once before and I'm pretty sure that ADHD was the reason for the divorce. The previous husband cheated on her, probably because he was neglected and found another woman that would give him attention. I believe that the ADHD spouse brings out the worst in both spouses. I am so frustrated, my concerns fall on deaf ears all the time. After repeating my frustrations to her over and over again, I eventually get upset and lose my composure and we start arguing. And then she blames me for picking the fight when I just want peace and a happy marriage. I am very close to filing for divorce. Overall, I think she's a good person but a bad wife. I wouldn't recommend that anyone marry an ADHD person. Thanks for listening.
Submitted by gefilte927 on 07/19/2013.