Yes, I am a newbie...and for spending just 15 minutes on the site, I suddenly felt heard and comforted. I am 31 years old, female and newly engaged to a wonderful artist 29 yr old, diagnosed with ADD since childhood.
In the 4 years of being together, I've experienced being his center of focus to a mere partner that will always be around. This is something new that I just read up on: The meaning of hyper focused and distraction. He's a musician and all of his attention is directed towards that. And sometimes I feel unsupportive to someone who I know cares about me and does put his share financially (chores is another issue, however). I live and breathe his work because that's the only thing discussed -- and I've even attempted to schedule date nights/intimacy for the past 2 years, which gets rescheduled or forgotten. (Sex drive is a whoooooole other story)!
We got engaged a month ago because I can't see sharing my life with anyone else. Our good days are so blissful ... I just want to move past feelings of resentment because I've become a spiteful person. Much of my story will unfold as I become accustomed to this forum.
He used to take adderall and another med I forgot the name of... However it made him sick and we can't afford therapy. I'm hoping joining this community will help. I fear that part of the problem we have blown out fights is because all this is new to me. As an over-achiever that always managed to spring to the top in accomplishments, I have a lot to learn about ADD in a marriage.