My husband and I have been married for about 6 months now. He was diagnosed with ADHD as a child and took Adderall off and on throughout his life, but for the past 3-4 years he has been taking it consistently. I've read the books and I'm reading all the forums and I still feel so lost. My husband is a wonderful guy but his self-esteem and confidence is almost non-existent when it comes to his career and work abilities. He has been a nurse for about six years but has been fired from many jobs because he says inappropriate things at times. He was even reported to the Board of Nursing because of an inappropriate comment to a co-worker, which then put him on probation...further limiting job opportunities. In the jobs that he has been able to keep he gets rave reviews and feedback from patients, co-workers and even some supervisors. He is about to complete his Masters degree, which has been a difficult task with studying and writing papers, but I do my best to try and keep him on task....which can also lead to fights because of my "nagging."
My frustration comes because my husband is constantly plagued by what happened in the past. Being on probation will always be on his record as well as all the jobs he has been fired from. He has absolutely no confidence that he will be able to move on to a better job and if he does he's afraid that the same incidents will occur again. Everyday I have to be positive for him or else he falls into a depression of self-loathing that scares me. He's so frustrated with himself and I can't get him to see how wonderful he is and why I wanted to marry him. I'm also becoming depressed myself because it's really difficult to be positive all the time...especially when things are not working out. I am the primary breadwinner at this point of our relationship and I know that also bothers him because he is not able to take care of his family.
There's so much else going on, with the forgetfulness, impulsivity, my nagging, the fights and frustration....but I feel this is our major problem and I don't know how to help him.