Newly married and huge doubts

Me and my ADHD spouse have been married only a few months. He is currently taking medications for his ADHD and something to control his anger. We have had issues with ADHD before we got married and I had my doubts them too.  We fight all the time and though I wasn't the most mature, calm fighter in the beginning, I have improved. He is just plain rude. He tells me I'm lazy (I'm really not), he's called me names a husband shouldn't call his wife. Though he's never touched me, he tries to get me scared if him and I am when we fight. He blows up over the smallest things. I admit, I can sometimes try to be controlling around the house. Like the other day, he was cleaning and I was telling him how to clean (I know...not innocent) when he freaks out on me and yells at me to leave the room. I do and he proceeds to storm into the room I went to and says he is leaving the house.  He storms out and leaves our new puppy wondering the house. I assumed he had taken care of the dog and crated him. Basically, it was a obvious slap in the face to me not to. Also, our sex has decreased because I'm not interested. I'm assuming how he treats me leaves me with no desire. These blow outs happen usually once a week. They are really wearing on me and I'm wondering why we even got married. I'm a strong woman and independent, yet I feel like married someone I shouldn't have.  Our personalities are completely opposite.  Has anyone had similar issues and what did you do? I'm considering counseling.


i have had this same problem over and over again,my spouse would get soo mad to the point where he chases me out the house and calls me horrid names all the time,he tells me that i am stupid,my work is shit,my kid ia a big man and he is just 17.He hates my mother,kids,family.He thinks that i am settled home with my kids and work also family and feels left out.I would tell him time and time again to go get help for his anger and ADHD but he never listens and will never,he thinks all our fights is because of me and only me.

What i have done over the years to get away from the anger he so outburst all the time is simply jump in my car and go home since i don't really live with him it's easy for me to get away from him..

i hope that you find a  way to deal with that i know how hard this can be but just last night i was by him and he started a fight and i was very calm and i found that to calm him down to a point he flared up and i agreed with him on certain things even though i knew it was wrong and because i was so calm and talking very calm he had no choice to get calm after..

good luck,i hope things work out for you..i am planning a separation soon,not sure how to address it yet to him but soon i'll be a single woman again.My situation has became far from normal with him and it would be like eating worms out of a can if i continue to ignore his anger,rude selfish behavior.I love him but i can't do this to myself anymore..


Newly married, I am also

Newly married, I am also newly married & my doubts were confirmed by my ADHD husband in an unfortunate way. I had been unsuccessfully pushing him to see the light, educate himself & realize how his ADHD was negatively effecting our marriage. We have been married only 3 months, about a month after the wedding I discovered a few traffic citations which opened a can of worms to the debt, lies & things he was keeping from me. This discovery was the beginning our end. I had been educating myself on the disorder for the past year or so & I knew unless he was accepting it for what it was & willing to put work into the changes he needed to make, that we would not last. I could no longer be his mom, support us while he played video games & made no effort to get a better paying job. I was tired of the empty promises, lies & angry outbursts.  I didn't know why I was the one calling psychiatrists & counselor a when he showed little interest in doing so himself. Trust you gut. My husband left tonight, I'm heart broken & devastated. If your husband doesn't think he has a problem, you can't make him see the problem. I exhausted myself trying to do so. Tonight my husband told me our counseling is retarded, he will never admit his ADHD is an issue bc he doesn't see it as one so he will not deal with it. He told me he's falling out of love with me & that he is not right for me. This is the type of behavior that an ADHD spouse feels is normal. If you are feeling like it's not right be true to yourself. It will be hard, lord knows I am not sure how I will get through tomorrow without a lot of tears. Good luck & put yourself first.