Newly weds- both ADD in very different ways

My husband and I have been married for a little over a month now, and although it is such a short amount of time we are already facing the issue that we are very different people. We both have been diagnosed with ADD. My husband was diagnosed about 2 years ago and I was diagnosed almost 1 year ago. Some might think that this similarity makes our marriage easy; however, sometimes we are so different that I begin to wonder if I have ADD at all! My ADD seems to be coupled with a more anxious obsessive compulsive nature where my husband is forgetful and lacks intuition. We are running into issues with space around the house and me having to repeat myself every five minutes and then I get frustrated and upset because I am picking up after him and repeating myself over and over again which makes me anxious and in turn angry. It’s horrible! I get to the point with him where I can not even control the words coming out of my mouth. It hurts me so bad. I know it hurts him too. I love my husband very much, but we are young and this is starting to feel like overwhelming. He loves to go,go,go. If it were up to him we would be doing something every night. I have these same urges but I know that I have fibromyalgia and need to have 8 hours of sleep and keep my space organized or I will start to spiral back into my unorganized lifestyle. It seems as though I have developed a better grasp of organization, memory, and reading social cues where my husband can control his emotions better. But of course, when we fight we both get very defensive and can argue for hours. I feel like I have some very valid points but I am too forgiving so although my intention is to help our relationship I always give in. My husband uses his ADD as a crutch to constantly justify when he does something wrong. He says he is not using it as a crutch but rather just explaining why he does what he does, but I can’t understand why if I can overcome my socially unacceptable and inconsiderate actions why he can’t too! I know this is a lot of rambling but I have only been married a month and I already feel like we are failing at this marriage! I have already threatened with leaving him and he didn’t even take me seriously (which of course upset me more!) There are a lot of posts on here about a non ADHD spouse and a ADHD spouse finding common ground, but what if we are both ADD in very different ways? Are we doomed?