My husband has not been diagnosed. We have been struggling for years, I have walked away, and told him that he needs to figure things out for himself.
He suggested that we go to counselling together. He had an appointment with the counsellor before our meeting and she hinted that he could be ADHD. He has since done a lot of online research, and has made an appointment with the family doctor. He has taken the online surveys, and has self-diagnosed that he is ADD/ADHD.
In my research, I stumbled onto this website, and found Melissa's blog. It seemed like something coming directly from my own head. I have felt like a single parent, like I am holding our marriage on our own, and I have reached burn-out. Others have commented on his behaviour, but no one ever thought of it being this. I have been with him for 16 years, and married for 10. I am just so tired of doing it all alone.
I have asked him to talk to the doctor, and start treatment, and then, maybe after some time, we could reconcile. My concern, and I don't want to be mean, is that he may have read so much on the internet that he could convince the doctor that he is ADD/ADHD even if he isn't.