Non-ADD Spouse coping help

I’ll just start by saying I’m in therapy and I have been.  My plan is to tell my therapist Thursday that  we need to start working on my anger/frustration/resentment exclusively for a while.

The reason for that is that my husband made a relatively minor forgetful omission, and we had words about it at the dinner table.   Our 3 year old said “Mommy punishing you, Daddy” which broke my heart. We don’t even punish our son so I’m not sure where he got that.  We usually try not to have discussion in front of him.

I have known for a while that I have an unreasonable amount of anger often.  Sometimes it feels more like rage.   It is probably because we have spent all our savings on living expenses because he’s been out of work a year following his diagnosis.  I had plans for that money such as travel and home repairs (desperately needed—we have an unuseable deck that’s a hazard).

Also, when he “forgets” me or doesn’t think of me, I feel so unloved.  He doesn’t touch me nearly as often as I want.  Not in a sexual way, just little caresses or kisses or hugs or leaning into each other as we sit on the couch.   The feeling unloved just makes everything else worse.  I do not know if that is ADD or not.

I WILL get help from my therapist, I’m just wondering whether any other non-ADD spouses have tips for dealing with frustration/rage/grief about your spouses omissions or has any perspective on the touch/feeling unloved issue.  Or any strategies I might be able to offer my spouse to make any of this easier.