Non-ADD spouse upset over lack of response to intimacy

I'm not sure how we got in this very difficult pattern, but my non-Add husband is completely frustrated with me over my lack of response to sexual intimacy.  Historically I was always the one to worry about the level of sexual contact or physical response, but it seems now that my husband is keeping score.  He is responding negatively to my "missing" the cues and is mad when I don't respond enthusiastically enough to him.  For example, yesterday I returned home at 12:00 midnight after supervising 34-8th graders on a weeklong class trip.  When I didn't jump in bed and grab him for a long passionate kiss I was "in trouble."  This pattern happens daily.  I'm not responding and he gets mad.  There is so much more to the story, but in short, I am feeling hurt, inadequate, and frankly depressed and tears come often.  I love my husband very much, but I regularly fall short.  I'm a teacher with a two hour daily commute, and a mother to two teen sons who struggle in school, and I'm not being sexual enough.  It's tearing me up.  What have others done to deal with this?