Non-ADD Wife Needs Help

So I have been reading about ADD for about the last 6 months. Like a lot of you, I tried to "help" my husband in the beginning, now I am changing me. Well things are even worse. All he did was starting using medication, he has not worked on any strategies.  I see no different in him at all. Still wants me to make a call, schedule, pay bills and so much more then complains or lashes out because I am too controlling. He now says we are both responsible. How can that be? I dont have ADD, I dont make chaos, I dont always feel overwhelmed, I dont understand how they can say it is both people???  I want to leave but my boys will be heartbroken. Work, he works all the time but does not get ahead. He cant see he is disorganized and inefficient. He feels unloved and unappreciated but I cant help feel those things. I am alone, do things alone and carry so much alone. He is not selfish, not a cheater, complete family man, loves me and the kids but the chaos is too much after 24 years. I have no idea what to do. Change the way I handle him?? How can that be? Life is harder with him. How am I responsible? confused and searching for answers