I'm new here! Glad to find this group! I'm a non ADHD spouse. Six years of marriage. All was great before the wedding. I started to think that something was wrong with him after our sexless honey moon. He was charming and loving but no sex desire. My first year of marriage was difficult, (before marriage everything was good). I felt like I was more like his mom like his wife. We had almost the same struggles like you all here. I was so frustrated and depressed. I wanted to go for counseling, but he wasn't agree. Until one day that he open his heart and told me that was not my fault. That he felt that something was wrong with him and he did not know what it was , he was frustrated too. He went to a physiatrist, he diagnosed ADHD. A few months later, my husband did not see any improvement with the medications and quitted them. Later, he went to a psychologist who confirmed the diagnosed and encouraged him to visit a therapist . We went together, the therapist confirmed again the ADHD ,everything was good until he felt uncomfortable when she started to talk about the sex part and he quitted the therapy sessions too. I was so mad and tired about him quitting the help. I felt that he did not care so much about us. I was exhausted. Then, I started to learn more about the ADHD and I let him know all what I have learned. That made him feel motivated to give the extra mile to work this together.That helped us to understand better his behavior and moods. I learned how to couch him and since then we work as a team in our marriage. Dr. Hallowell website helped us a lot. My husband is more focus since he is on fish oil supplements. We also noticed that since we have our lovely dog, we feel less stressed, the dog is the kid that we don't have, and he is like a therapy for us. Also, my husband changed his job for one that allow him to travel and work in different places with different people and projects, what help him to avoid the quitting and to get tired of the same job. I had to quit my job in order that we can travel and live together. Now he feels happy with his job, he deals better with his ADHD, our marriage is solid, we love each other, we can not imagine this life without each other. And although he still without sex drive , I know is not because he does not love me, he also went to an urologist, the doctor did not find anything wrong, so the ADHD has something to do with that. He feels frustrated because he really want to satisfied me as a woman. But our true love and happiness is more than that. It's not easy for me, I have my sexual needs, but through this years I have learned how to deal with my feelings. I keep hope that someday his sexual drive is going to improve too. I feel good to be part of this forum. It is like a group therapy, sharing our experiences, is a great support. Melissa Orlov blog is very helpful. I did read the free chapters of her book and I felt identified with her, I felt inspiring and motivated and wanted to read more!! I went online and bought her book. I can't wait to have it in my hands and read it and use the tools that she provide us. It make me feel good to know that what she wrote is based in her successful experience, personal struggles, history and professional knowledge . That she is more than a professional writing a book , is a person that has been in our shoes. I feel motivated by her and by all of you in this forum, to keep working in my ADHD functional marriage. There is always space to hope, to improve, to achieve...My advice is to learned about the condition, understand it, work together as a team, make some sacrifices and changes in your live to keep functional, are worth. That worked for us and we keep working on it. We're proud to say that we have a happy and functional marriage. Good luck everyone! Wishing you the best! Thanks to Melissa Orlov, her husband and Dr. Hollowell!!!