Non-ADHD partner "does not need treatment"

Hi my wife and I have been together for 6 years, we have 4yo twin boys. I currently self identify as autistic and ADHD. I see the psychiatrist in 2 weeks for ADHD diagnosis and see autism team in December for ASD diagnosis. I am currently reading the affect of ADHD on marriage, I have suggested my wife read it also and/or we both seek individual or couples counseling. My wife has believes she does not need counseling and we do not have time. She has also told me she does not have the mental capacity to read more about my brain and to understand what I am going though. She wants me to change and fit her needs. I struggle to explain my needs to her. My biggest request would be that she reduces her negativity towards me and supports my decisions where possibly even if it would not be the way she does things. Decision paralysis is a big thing for me and even when I make a decision it frequently seems to be the wrong one. I get laughed at, yelled at, questioned why. When I try and explain things I seem to get it wrong. It would be easier for me if she could just read the book and begin to understand. We could try some strategies around communication and supporting each other. She says because she takes on most of the household and children responsibilities she does not have the capacity, however she is able to read a book about child rearing. Even if she could just read a paragraph or chapter at a time. Possibly when I get my ADHD diagnosis and start to figure out how to manage that better I can take some of her load.