Non-adhd spouse. Bitter about it now that I've been reading about Adhd.

My wife is going for an evaluation in a few weeks to determine (it's obvious) if she has Adhd.   She clearly does.  I've begun reading all the information I can get my hands on about the subject and I want to be supportive but the more I read I get bitter and more frustrated about how this has impacted my life!  We've been together 20 years.  I've done so much to keep our household going over the years.  Working 60 hour weeks, running children everywhere, doing household chores that I don't have time to do while my wife has done so little and has never held a real job.   

We've talked about it and she seems onboard with being evaluated and getting treatment and that's all great.  I am happy about that.   But the more I learn the more bitter and more disappointed I get.   Has anyone else experienced this?   Is it normal to get this angry when you start learning about things?   All I see are all these problems that have persisted for years and I feel like I've had the patience of a saint through it all.  I know that's not fair, but it's how I feel. I feel like I've wasted most of my life parenting. an adult who didn't try and fought me on so many things.  I'm just so bitter about it, frustrated, and angry.  I'm guessing this isn't that unusual?  But I was curious if other people felt this way that went through years of undiagnosed, untreated Adhd and how you made peace with it.