Non-ADHD/ADD spouses have too high expectations?

Something has been bothering me all morning.  I was on here earlier and was going over posts and keep seeing from folks with ADD/ADHD saying that the non-ADHD/ADD partners have too high expectations.  I am so not able to understand this line of thinking because I keep coming back to the fact that the non-partner is the one doing most or even all life "tasks".  How are we, then the ones with too many or too high of exepctations?  My husband expects that he has clean clothes, dishes and food in the house when he is hungry or needing clothes to put on, regardless if he has bothered to take care of any of these things in months or ever!  I know he knows clean dishes, clothes and food do not just magically appear.  How is it that when I do 95% of the work and expect he do anything to help me out it's "too high expectations?"  I just don't get the logic there!    How is it that my husband expects me to have ultra understanding about his disorder yet I am expected to act like a perfect robot making no mistakes and having zero feelings?  It just seems like the complete opposite to me.  It seems that it is not our too high expectations causing the problem but the fact that many people with ADHD/ADD believe that everyone that has any expectation are expecting too much. I really am trying to understand the logic and not jus dismiss this feeling that ADHD/ADD'ers seem to have.