Hello everyone! I am new here and could use some encouragement.
My husband has ADHD - he was diagnosed as a child. He still has it. He goes into hyper focus very often but not on things that would improve his life. He has always been in and out of jobs, blaming everyone else - not himself. He is highly intelligent. He watches tons of films and has played over 1,500 video/pc games in his life - he currently games several hours a day. He said games help him focus and feel better. He hasn't had a job since 2008. He helps me with my business about 5-10 hours a week max. I work 70 hours a week because I have a flourishing business.
He is home every single day. He won't leave. He leaves to help a friend or his mother maybe once a month but if I am not with him, he will not leave. He games most of the time and surfs the web and chats with his buddies online. I bought him his dream car and dream mountain bike but he rarely uses them - maybe he drives once a month? His friends envy his life but everything we own is from the money I earn.
We barely have sex - maybe 5x a year.
We have no kids - and he knows I want them and would LOVE to have them but there is never the right "time" in his mind. We just turned 40!
He said he was diagnosed as a child with ADHD and he still has it though he worked hard to get "control" of it so his office in our home, his closet and his car is meticulous. He cleans up after himself. He is VERY clean and tidy.
But when it comes to everything else --- intimacy - none. Always on his iPad, iPhone or computer. Always. At every meal, when we watch TV, at a cafe, when we are walking down the street. He ALWAYS has to be doing something with his camera, his phone or something else.
It is always SO frustrating to be with him. I actually am at the point to where I can't stand to be with him. I eat all of the time (just gained 33 pounds in 10 months) to numb my pain and am so depressed now that I only get out of bed to work and stay on top of my career. I've recently enrolled in some classes and am trying to get out but I am overwhelmed.
Is this normal married ADHD life?
Thank you for listening - please forgive me for the long introduction. Can ANYONE relate?