I did as recommended and read and read Is It you, me or adult add, etc.... The more I read the less angry I got... the more depressed I became. So I must mourn that I married 6 mo ago to a man that finally "saw me".. to find out with heart tearing suddenness, right after our wedding, that he only saw me bc I was the recipient of his hyper-focus. It is too late now... I left my job and life to move here for us to make a life for us and his daughter. I know noone here but his world, so, there is noone to talk to. He is not a jerk, he actually cares, and so ..can you believe it... I feel like I am drowning bc I cannot even be angry. It could be any other woman, right... he just hyper focused on me... I don't have the amount of beauty or anything to reawaken his interest... 6 mo married and sex/intimacy once a mo. if ever. I know books say...don't take it personally... What the heck? I get not to blame him... But how am I supposed not to take personally that this is the rest of my life. I am So. European... we show our love in touch all the time.. I feel as if I was starving for air. I am ready to give up and just let myself be sucked into his world as the servant of Add treatment. I waited years and years... I was so careful about falling in love... I saw so much sorrow around.... It could have been any other woman that passed in front of his sight. Hyperfocus... Nothing to do with me. I was just the idiot that imagined deserved that sort of attention. I am, I am told, beautiful, the accent helps... I spent life being careful not to let a man have me just because he wanted a collectable piece (you'd be surprise how many of those guys are around).... I thought he "saw" me,...me...my heart. I put shields down. The strike was fatal. ADHD wins. I tried to write here more..but sometimes, like in the sex thread, answers were so harsh... I knew I could not bear more ... So I am not angry anymore... I am informed, exhausted, disenchanted, lonely, surrendering, feeling ugly and undeserving, ... I don't know how to not keep walking, so I shall... but as of today I am too heartbroken to lift my head. Just wait till is over, till another focus comes into his view (person or thing) ..how am I to know? how is he to know? he can't help it, at least he is trying for treatment but crashing against dangerous side-effects..... My family died a long time ago. Orphan life is not easy for a girl. There is no where to go, for a break or anything else. I stay and wait in total surrender. What is the point anyway? he is a good man who can't help his condition..and I am the woman who feels I ..what is the English saying... had the bait switched?... by ADD. I needed the loving I thought I had found. I survived so many dying...was so many years of no family at all.... but it was only hyperfocus... he loves me, in his ADD way, I know... but I can't see how given the nature of impulse and hyperfocus, how it is not just temporary.... and I don't think I know how to make my So. European body understand that the rest of my life is about touch-starvation. Any way. I am just saying good bye to you all who commiserated and shared experiences with me. I am so sorry that any of you have to go through any of this, ADD sufferers and co-sufferers. I am so sorry. You all deserve a life time of joy. I wish you are all stronger and better shored-up that me and can strive for it. Warmest wishes to you.