Hello all and Thank You for what seems to be a very real discussion!
I have read several posts by partners who seem completely exhausted by their marriages and I want to say that I have been there, too. However, I believe that there are degrees. In my case, I left a nine-year relationship (that I considered a marriage) because of issues that may not be attributable to my (then husband's) diagnosis of ADHD. He was diagnosed with ADHD when we had been together about 6 years. There are a lot of issues here that I have tried to deal with and most are outside of the scope of this forum.
The more pressing issue for me is that I am currently in love with a man who has ADD. I had been celibate for about 8 years (for various reasons) when I met him and have met many attractive persons of both genders during that time (I am bisexual).
This guy is so special. I can see us being together. He is on Adderall and also on Wellbutrin. He also takes a heart medication for (what he has been told) are the side effects of Adderall. His relationship history is complicated, but the mother of his daughter is in his life and I respect that. He does exhibit some symptoms of ADD, but they seem mild to me.
He does not seem to have signs of hyperactivity. For example, people on the forum talk about "hyperfocus" during the courting stage. I have not experienced this with my friend. The physical intimacy is so relaxed. I feel more comfortable with him, sexually, than with any partner I have ever had. I adore this man. I never thought I would care for anyone in this way, ever again.
One complicating factor is that we are both members of the same profession and we met at work. I can't say I respect his reputation, although he means so much to me on a personal level. To be frank, I worry that he will loose his professional status and thus his ability to earn enough to support his daughter and his ex-wife. Perhaps that will have a minimal impact on me, financially, but the impact on our relationship could be huge if he looses his independence and his self-respect.