Not Respecting Other People versus

Not Respecting Other People versus Being Unaware and not showing respect for other peoples' belongings, time, or space.

I'd like to hear what others, including those diagnosed with add, think about this.

My husband is diagnosed both npd and add. He definitely has unawareness, but I've also seen clearly that he has no respect for other people as valuable individuals in their own right.

He's only interested in you if you may be of use to him and then, only to the extent that your "stuff" may either aid or inhibit his cause. He's content to get a sound byte about you, he puts you into a box - plumber, roofer, numbers guy, responsible sort, whatever - for possible future use. Because he truly believes that the world works by people using other people, the I scratch your back, you scratch mine philosophy, he will be "nice" to you and butter you up with acts of "kindness", as long as he wants you dangling from his string. This is how he functions. Trust me, I've seen it in living color for 10 1/2 years and now have the diagnosis to substantiate it.

My personal theory is that add alone can come across in a similar way, but lacks the mindset behind what I see in my spouse. Plain old ADD does not have the engrained sense of entitlement that he displays, or the utter lack of concern for others' feelings. ADD may be overwhelmed by feelings and not be able to readily empathise, but people with add do not view feelings as inherently weak and despicable. Does that make sense? This goes far beyond a person being pragmatic. What I'm talking about here is someone who, when push comes to shove, assumes that you are using your feelings to manipulate him. Why? I think, because that's what he does to others.

A neighbor may borrow a tool and neglect to return it, but this particular personality will borrow it as though the only reason you had it is cuz he needed to use it and when he is done, the tool (along with your ownership of it) becomes irrelevant.