Not settling anymore

I once was a person who was elected for leadership on committees and held leading parts in school plays and was active in forensics and a cheerleader.  Over the years, I seem to have lost my voice.  My voice and demeanor is now compromising and servile.  I shame myself and criticize myself and put myself in the shadows of others.  I am trying to grow and mature and heal and looking for words and ideology of what happened to me so I can take small steps. I was surfing the internet today and found an article that zeroed in on what I was looking for.  Here is what I read and it was helpful to me:  

"Do you ever look around and think, “Wow, I could have done so much better.” If you answered yes, then you may be facing a loss of power in your relationship. When we have low self-esteem or low self-worth, we very often settle for partners who we know won’t fulfill us. It’s a form of self-punishment, but it can leave us trapped in dangerous and toxic situations with people who take our voice from us…and even our joy."

H is who he is and I am accepting that he is like that.  I will find my strong voice but I will strive to keep it kind and keep my dignity. That will be my work.  To speak up and to be aware of the dynamics and responses. To acknowledge myself for each encounter where my words and my voice remain strong and dignified.  

I am working on me now. I am stopping working on/with him.

The article can be found searching: "You have no voice in your relationship" on the site.