My husband, who has ADD just called me while i am at work...crying his heart out. He starts off by complaining that everything he touches turns to sh*t, nothing is working right, I'm not there for him, his kids don't want to be around him, I don't understand him, he feels fat...you name it....he was crying about it. So, i am not entirely sure how I should feel about this, nor what I should do. this isn't the first time he's broken down like this, but it is the first time while sober. He's in counseling, he has a psychiatrist, I'm in counseling, and we're both in couples counseling. We are all counseled up! My dilemma? I don't know if I can or try to soothe him. what he's wanting I just can not give.
My mom moved in with us when we had our first son, and we pay her instead of a day care. Long story short, everyone that has come into our home for a short stay, a visit, or long period of time, my husband has had a problem with. I will not put our youngest in day care until he can talk. this of course is saying to my husband 'i don't care how you feel because i am going to do what I want to do'. that is so not how i feel, but there are somethings in life that I just can't budge on and that's one of them. I've offered to stop working in the next year to be at home with the baby, at the time, the hubby agreed. now from day to day, his mind changes.
i really don't know if I can help him....and at what point is enough enough? It has been one extreme to another. he's at home crying uncontrollably like an infant, and I am here at work. Am i thinking about his pain? Ummmm, no. I'm thinking about the fact that our oldest is around him and seeing him cry. i am worried about the affect this will have on our son. yes i love my husband, but to be honest...in the past he's used these same tactics to have me give in to what it was he was needing at the time. My husband even took pills (not enough to do anything...although i didn't know it at the time), just to make me hurt the way he was!!!! OMG, are you serious?
He is an emotional wreck and roller coaster of a ride with him. he equates sex to my love for him...when he doesn't get it, it's me telling him that i don't love him. that's so not the case. however, I can not engage in romantic things with him when i am upset with him. Sorry but i am not a porn star on the internet (which he likes to frequent) that is ready at the click of a mouse.
Ughhhh, I'm not sure what I am wanting from posting this..maybe just a listening ear? a cyber shoulder to lean on? a cyber hug? or simply someone who understands what it is that the non-ADD spouse encounters.