Not using calendar equals taking it out on me while I am working at home

I have been telling my wife for weeks that she has not been keeping track of appointments on our shared calendar or her own calendar.  For example, just before the stay at home period started, she had made an appointment with our couples counselor and forgot to tell me about it.  I stopped off at the drug store on the way home to find her not there.  Our daughter thought she was at a store.  When she got back, I THEN found out that there had been a couples appointment that i would have needed to drive to immediately after work in order to make it.  Worse still, she forgot about the appointment until the counselor called her and then she went for the second half (without telling me!)

Our 11-year-old daughter finally started seeing a therapist shortly before the stay at home orders.  She had previously resisted.  Yesterday, during lunch, I asked my wife if our daughter was going to be doing a zoom session with the therapists soon.  She said there was one scheduled for that after noon.  But it wasn't on the calendar!  At 4:30, she burst into my work area and I asked what was wrong.  Our son's case manager had called and said that he was not on his scheduled session.  So she had to go and get him on--I have had this happen with other things involving our son.  But during that time, she missed all attempts by our daughter's therapist to contact her about our daughter not being online.  She finally got online for the last 10 minutes, but we still had to pay for the whole session.  All this time, she was yelling and screaming, making me feel attacked.  After she finished telling the story and I had made some suggestions, she did not say anything for several minutes.  I reminded her that I needed to get back to work. She yelled at me, "Well, you asked!" and stormed away.  But 1) She initiated the interruption by entering my workspace , 2) Of course I asked because she came in an was clearly upset, and 3) I listened and made suggestions until she fell silent.