It's been a while since I posted. I left off last fall when my wife was finally diagnosed with ADHD and our 12-year-old (now identified as non-binary they) had been repeatedly admitted to psychiatric hospitals. They have not been admitted since December, and things were looking better (despite a dramatic increase in the number of voices in their head.) We arranged for them to go to summer camp for 3 weeks and planned to finally take a "just the two of us" vacation during the final week. True to form, my wife was very optimistic while I feared getting a call to pick them up while we were on the road or riding a roller coaster.
Well, it did not take that long. On the third day, the camp said they could not handle them (telling the other kids about "bugs" in the food and water, retching at the table, etc.) They blame the camp for kicking them out because of their "disability." My wife picked them up yesterday. Now they need to come on our vacation with us.
Last Saturday, my wife wanted to order from a new pizza place and they went into panic mode because the new place might not know if their soup contained meat. Somehow, the restaurants they are familiar with were OK. Vegetarian beans from another restaurant might have meat because they were not dried the right way, etc. I am very concerned about how they are going to act when we need to eat during the trip. Also, they now vomit several times a day, even when we are at restaurants. We had this checked thoroughly and the gastroenterologist found no reason for the vomiting.
I fear a repeat of a previous vacation where my wife's "ready, fire, aim" approach led to a traumatic verbal/emotional attack on me because she was angry at the kids. I was unable to get away because we were in the car. I reminded her that she needs to control her anger and work with me if problems arise. She had the "but that was six years ago, why are you bringing this up now" response. We did have a couples session last night, and the marriage counselor was supportive of what I was saying. I did rephrase it as "we need to..."
We are going to one amusement park we have been to before and two that we have never visited. One of them has 18 coasters. We're also doing a few other things. So we don't want to just scrap the vacation. I have been looking forward to it for several months.